Priorities...

If you have kids, you'll know that they have this uncanny sixth sense about knowing when they don't have your 100% undivided attention anymore. They can be playing, doing their thing and ignoring you completely, but the minute you try to have a little 'me time', even just to update your Facebook status or go to the bathroom, they're on you like a groupie to a rock star.

When I became a Mom, I accepted this. But I am also a singer, and I've also accepted that too. My relationship with music never goes away, no matter how many times I've told it to:

Me: 'Not now, music, it's not a good time.'
Music: 'Aw, come on. You know you want to.'
Me: 'But the kids need me.'
Music: 'The kids can take care of themselves!'
Me: 'No they can't.'
Music: 'Yes they can.'
Me: 'They really can't.'
Music: 'Okay, fine. I'll wait.'

And it always does.

Roland and I are trying to promote our new album, Won't Give Up. We called it that because it took us all of 13 years to make it, and we never gave up. We've got music to make and dreams to fulfill - so giving up just isn't an option. Music has had to take its place on the back burner many times, but kids won't accept that, and don't deserve that either.

Playing a gig is the only time we can actually make uninterrupted music - but the price I pay for being unavailable is always high. Extra hugs and smooches are in order, as well as a considerable amount of whining and complaining, which translates into: 'What were you doing that was more important than me for the past hour?!' That's a tough one to answer...

Promoting the album takes time and attention to detail, but so does child-rearing.

Getting our album heard is our goal, but so is having happy, healthy, well-balanced children.


Okay, happy medium, where the heck are you?!

The Challenge

Nobody ever said raising kids would be easy. But what makes child-rearing even tougher is when you have a passion you just can't deny.

My passion is music.
My life is my kids.
How to combine the two? That's the challenge I face every day.

Last night is a good example of why rock 'n' roll and kids don't always mix. Roland (my other half in love, life and music) and I participated in an 'open mic' session on Orcas Island, where we're staying and promoting the new album. We make a point of going as often as we can, or in other words, when we can afford a babysitter. We played and jammed and strengthened our relationships with some of the fine musicians on the island, and by the time we crawled into bed, it was going on 2am.

Kids don't give a hoot about what time their parents goes to bed. As often as I explain to them how tired mama is, they have an agenda that clearly takes priority over mine. Even going to the bathroom is something I can do only under their close supervision. At 7am, it's time to color, play games, read stories and eat at least three bowls of Cheerios. Fortunately, I am so trained in these activities that I can perform them even in a zombie-like state without them even noticing. I mean, I have yet to put coffee in the Cheerios instead of milk, for example.  

But a good night making music outweighs the discomfort of a little sleep deprivation any day.

Rehearsing is another story. Our kids are musical, which is no surprise since they've been hearing it since they were in the womb. When we make music, they see it as an invitation to make music too, which is awesome, but again, a challenge. Recently, when Roland and I wanted to go through some tunes before a gig and test some PA gear, the kids leapt on the opportunity to join in. My son decided the microphone was his and no one else's ever, and seeing that sharing is still a foreign concept to him, there was simply no way I was going to get a turn to sing in it.

Assuming a three and a four-and-a-half year old will simply sit there and listen for an extended period of time while we practice is a huge mistake, one that most certainly leads to frustration and dismay. So a serious rehearsal can really only take place in one situation: a gig.

When we have a gig, it means the kids will be in the very loving, capable hands of someone else: preferably Grandma and Grandpa, but otherwise, a very awesome babysitter. Roland has his hands free to actually play the guitar, I don't have to share the mic with a three-year-old, and no one needs their nose wiped or help going to the potty.

It comes down to this: I wouldn't change being a Mom for anything, but I'm a singer too. Last night, I love my kids, but I had to sing. Right now, I love my music, but I have to go play Barbies.